They say a lot of things:

1. They say you shouldn't wear white after labor day.

2. They say that those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

3. They say that time heals everything.

4. They say that it is better to have love and lost then not to have loved at all.

5. They say that you should write what you know.

Here's what I know. I know that none of the above is certain. I'm actually not convinced any of it is.

1.) As for the white after labor day... It may just be my mother who is still the sole person perpetuating this phrase. My sisters and I learned to be wary of her word choice rather early on in life. While running around the gym for a warm-up in 7th grade P.E. class, my sister's scrunchy came loose. The annoyance of her hair slapping her in the face urged her to scream out, "Ugh! My hairpiece!" Surely having survived middle school you know that it takes less than a series of milliseconds for just about any utterance, event, moment, to be distorted, fabricated and then shared by all. My poor sister and her middle school balding rumors.

I remember making a little vocabulary chart in one of my puffy heart-covered diaries:

mom's word ------- actual word
hair piece ------- scrunchy
boom-box ------- radio
cream rinse ------- conditioner
thongs ------- flip flops
do-hickies ------- just about anything

So I vote that you wear the hell out of that white, no matter what the day.

2.) As for the second...They also say it takes one to know one. Yeah. No shit. Why do you think I know where to aim the stone? And you know what, if I could, I'd throw one at my own house too. Sometimes it just feels good to throw the goddamn stone.

3.) Number three and four are personal favorites. In my corner, time isn't really doing much for me, which is what brings my fingers to the keys.

4.) With each letter I can feel the weight of that love that is no longer and the weight of the wonder if it ever was at all. I'm reminded of one of my all time favorite poems by Elizabeth Bishop, "One Art."

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

Bishop knew that when time couldn't keep up its end of the bargain there was always writing. "Write it!" she screams at me. So here I am. It's not as if my story is something new, something you haven't heard before. But it is mine. And maybe, if my words can find your mind, perhaps even your hearts, you can be the they who say, it will be okay. Because let's face it, they always say, it will all be okay (or at least one illusive morning it will appear that way).

5.) Here's what I know to be true...people will disappoint you for a multitude of reasons. But instead of picking up stones, or waiting for the healing hands of time or even weighing whether or not the love was better had and lost then never at all...write it!

write it!

Write it!

Write it!