Mark Twain once wrote, "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug." You can imagine then the vast difference between the right word and the absolute wrong wrong wrong word...lightning and a flicker so minuscule that it might not even exist.
Poor David Guetta illustrates this struggle most prominently in his hit single, "Sexy Bitch." He sings:
I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl
without being disrespectful
The right word is difficult isn't it? Especially when you find yourself in circumstances that evoke such awe. All descriptions seem to fall short but us writers, that doesn't keep us from tryna...I mean, attempting.
The frustrating piece as an audience member is when it's blatantly obvious that the author has settled for something cliche or in this case really ridiculously unnecessarily offense. Guetta sings the struggle and concludes with this refrain:
Damn Girl!!!
Damn, you's a sexy bitch, sexy bitch!
Damn, you's a sexy bitch!
Damn Girl!!!
Writer's block? Laziness? Insight into the pig-headed mind of this macho-maniac? I'm not quite certain. What I do know is that this singer/songwriter requires a little assistance complimenting a woman from one of my favorite friends, thesaurus.com
Substitute out "Sexy" for any of the following:
adorable, alluring, beautiful, beckoning, bewitching, captivating, charming, comely, enchanting, engaging, enthralling, enticing, fair, fascinating, fetching, glamorous, good-looking, gorgeous, interesting, inviting, looker, lovely, luring, magnetic, mesmeric, pleasant, pleasing, prepossessing, pretty, stunning, taking...
Substitute out "Bitch" for:
girl, lady, lass, female, woman...
Combine and sing:
fascinating woman, captivating lass, lovely lady, charming girl...
To claim something as difficult solicits evidence of attempted endeavors. If the desired result is more than a slap in the face I would suggest some major editing (to perhaps more than just these lyrics).
And Guetta, just so you know, girls won't be flattered if you note that there is such an apparent contrast between them and your neighborhood whore. If they are then I would wonder if there actually is.
New add to the shit list: all who ask to be called Mr. Flintstone. (see Lil' Wayne).
Perhaps:
ReplyDeleteWow, you's an adorable lass, adorable.
Something tells me that "Sexy Bitch" would bring in more revenue... Perhaps that is the reasoning for the lack of thought.